Teaching preschoolers to speak up for themselves, or “self-advocate,” is a parent’s responsibility. It is a gift that builds confidence and independence in your child. By encouraging your child to express their needs, feelings, and preferences, you’re helping them learn valuable life skills—even at a young age!

Below are five tips to help your preschoolers speak up for themselves.

1. Help Them Recognize Their Feelings

Understanding emotions is the first step for children to voice their needs. When children can identify their feelings, they are one step closer to being able to express themselves.

Name the Feeling: Use clear, simple language to describe their emotions. For instance, say, “I see you’re feeling sad because your toy broke,” or “You seem happy because your friend is here.” This helps them understand and label their emotions.

Ask About Their Day: Ask gentle questions like, “How did you feel at school today?” or “What made you happy (or sad) today?” Helping them become aware of different emotions and start expressing them.

Fun Activity: Emoticons are a great way to help your children recognize and express emotions.

Introduce Basic Emoticons

Start with basic emoticons representing common emotions like happiness, sadness, anger, and surprise. Keeping it simple helps young children easily connect each symbol with a feeling.

  • 😊 Happy: This smiling face shows joy
  • 😢 Sad: A face with a tear represents sadness
  • 😡 Angry: A face with a frown and eyebrows pointing down indicates anger
  • 😲 Surprised: A face with wide eyes and an open mouth shows surprise

2. Teach Them to Ask for Help

Preschoolers often need help but may not know how to ask for it. By teaching them simple ways to ask, you’re helping them become more confident.

Practice Simple Phrases: Teach phrases like “Can you help me, please?” or “Can you show me how to do this?”

Encourage your child to try it independently, like buttoning a shirt or tying shoelaces. If they get stuck, remind them, “It’s ok to ask for help.”

Fun Activity: Pretend play can help! Act out scenarios where they need to ask for help—like “reaching” for a tall shelf. Practice asking, “Can you help me, please?” in a gentle way to show them that its ok to seek help.

3. Give Them Simple Choices

Making choices helps preschoolers feel empowered and teaches them to make simple decisions.

Offer Limited Choices: Instead of asking an open-ended question, give them two choices, like “Would you like an apple or a banana?” or “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue one?”, keeping things simple to help them decide.

Fun Activity: Make a “choice jar.” Write down simple choices on colourful slips of paper (like “apple or banana”), and let your child pick one each day. It’s a fun way to practice decision-making!

4. Show How to be Polite

Teaching polite language like “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” helps your child feel comfortable asking for what they need. It also shows them how to be respectful when speaking up or asking for help.

Practice Together: Be polite, even if you are speaking to your child or the daily help. For example, say, “Could you hand me that, please?” Children learn from observation.

Praise Their Effort: When your child says “please” or “thank you,” recognize it! Positive reinforcement makes them repeat the good behaviour.

Fun Activity: Have a “polite words” day! Use “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” throughout the day and see how many times you can both remember to use them. Make it a memorable activity!

5. Encourage Them to Speak Up with “I” Statements

Preschoolers are still learning to express their needs or feelings without getting upset. Teaching “I” statements help them communicate clearly without blaming others.

Teach phrases like “I feel…” or “I don’t like…” For instance,

if a sibling grabs their toy, you can encourage them to say, “I was playing with it, please return it to me.” Or “I feel sad when you take my toy”. It will help them say how they feel in a polite and respectful way.

Conclusion:

 Helping your preschoolers learn to speak up for themselves is all about guidance, encouragement, and walking the talk. Remember, it’s about teaching your Preschoolers to speak up for themselves confidently.

Ask Yourself: What’s one thing my child could practice this week? Maybe it’s asking for help, saying “please,” or making a small decision. Pick one skill to start, and celebrate every little success!

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